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She Wants ...Just looking at her
So much you still don't understand.
Pieces inside you are unable to see.
Blind to what she wants,
What she really wants . . .
She wants to be . . .
The one in your dreams
Always on your mind, in your thoughts
Perfect for you as imperfect as she is right now
Part of your life, your future
She wants to feel . . .
Forever wanted, ever needed
Good enough even at her worst
She wants to see . . .
Love in your eyes
A tomorrow together with you
She wants to know . . .
What you are thinking
The things that you feel
For you there is only her and no other will do
She is the half of you that was missing
Simply that you love her each and every day
Did you ever take a moment
Stop and notice
What she wants,
What she really wants . . .
Can't Be Real . . .You can't be real . . .
That's what my head keeps telling me.
The love you give so pure and strong.
My pulse races as butterflies come to play inside me.
You can't be real . . .
Consuming my thoughts and my heart, only you.
Loving me for who I am.
No changes do you ask of me.
I know you're real . . .
My dark angel, my savior.
Your soul calls to mine and I can do no other but answer.
The person in whom I find all I want and hold precious in this world.
You have to be real . . .
Holding my future in your heart and hands.
With you I have found my home and my happiness.
The balance of me you have in you, somehow it still seems
You can't be real . . .
Do sit down.
Just how have you been?
It’s so nice to see you again.
What is this?
You don’t know who I am?
I admit, it’s been quite a long time.
Shall we say,
I am you in a way.
I’m that voice in the back of your mind.
We stopped talking.
Not my fault of course.
You simply ignored what I said.
Don’t you think
We should work something out?
Without me, life is one bumpy ride.
Now I see.
But don’t come back to me
As your conscience, at least I know I tried.
I Must Be Dreaming . . .I must be dreaming . . .
Please take me away from me
Away into nothing
Dull my heart's pain
Silence my mind and dry my tears
I must be dreaming . . .
My sky is now dark
Everything crashed to the ground
No pieces left big enough to mend
Tiny shards only left to cut deeper
Always knew my reason for being
Fought those demons for so long
Come take me I beg of you
Curse the seen and hope to die
Steal my breath, take my soul
My joy now my pain, happiness now horror
I'm sorry . . . was it truly me?
When night falls on me I'm fallen
All I need is you . . .
My only everything
Please tell me I'm dreaming . . .
Longing to be lost inside you
Lost all faith, lost my mind
Wake me from this dream
Don't want to pretend I've not seen
No way to deny what rang through my ears
The knife wounds are there in my heart
Finish me or save me
Closing my eyes I see it so clearly
Our dreams and plans all laid out
Painted black by your sinister heart
My life given only to you
How can I run awa
Confusion ...Confusion ...
Am I allowed to touch you?
Do I have to stop being me?
When I want to feel you must I pull away?
If I were to fall would you catch me?
Am I in a nightmare that I can't wake from?
Am I suddenly nothing?
Is there a point to all this anymore?
Will you take my soul and leave me empty?
Make the world stop just for a moment.
I'll just close my eyes and let go of life.
Priceless ManHeart of gold hidden inside.
Arms of steel to surround you with warmth, peace, passion.
Eyes that gaze deep into your soul.
A voice so soft and sensual that each sound sends your heart racing.
Priceless man, nearest perfection without knowledge or effort.
The man you are . . .
The man you shall always be.
One able to make me feel, for the first time, something real . . . so overpowering.
The one I wish to please for all time.
Holding the key to my heart . . . my love.
Always, never to change.
Only one I wish to be with me . . .
Make Me CryWhere have you gone now my love?
Why am I here alone, once again?
I remember this pain, the aching inside me.
Once more there are tears on my face.
You promised this time not to leave me.
All your words made me truly believe.
“You are stuck with me” is what you said.
I awoke though to find you were gone.
As the days passed, I made new excuses.
Now it’s getting to long to deny.
Maybe this time you’re gone for forever.
All I know is I love you no matter.
But why do you still make me cry?
It's In Your EyesIt's in your eyes I get lost
Those amazing, endless blue eyes
If I look too long I fall into forever
It's in your eyes I see
The good you find in me
Reflected back with all your love
It's in your eyes I find
The missing piece of my soul
Something, until you, I thought I would spend my life without
It's in your eyes
I have found my home and my heart
I could ask for nothing more than you give
It's in your eyes I stay
To know love and give love
Until we find eternity
TearsHere they come again.
I can feel them.
Just hold on one more minute.
Here I have no place to hide.
What was it this time?
Please help me stop them.
No one can see me like this.
Should I not be empty?
I thought I was better.
They've taken control once more.
Maybe I am truly broken.
Is there an off switch?
Come, help me find it.
No one can know this is me.
Make up an excuse.
Cover them quickly.
Find me a happy place fast.
What if they ask me why?
Doubt they'll believe I don't know.
This happens much too often now.
Does it ever truly end?
Much too late now.
Here they come...
It's an unrequited love, isn't it?I know you will never read this.
I know you will never get the chance to even catch a glimpse of this.
But I just want you to know that I love you.
You're perfect to me. I don't care about your flaws. I don't care about the faults that everyone else always seem to point out.
I really don't care.
What matters to me is that you are you. And because you are you, I love you.
I just wish you could love me back.
I just wish you could say the same words to me--to make me believe that I'm not the worthless thing I see in the mirror every day.
I just wish you could be here, comforting me when I need it, and telling me you love me over and over again. I promise I would never get tired of those three simple words:
"I love you."
But how can you love me back?
You're not even real.
Labels.I sit here.
I sit here with my skate shoes,
And dark eyeliner.
I sit with my guitar on the floor,
Books upon books on my shelves,
And notebooks filled with songs.
Surrounded by my Hollister shirts,
Right next to my basketball jerseys,
My dozens of plain black tee shirts,
And my band shirts.
My soccer trophies line my dresser--
And so does my dance metals.
And my academic awards.
My lip gloss lies on the floor,
And so does my mud- caked ATV helmet.
So what did you all label me.
I'm sorry I don't fit into your stereotypes.
I'm sorry I'm not average.
I'm sorry I have taken a million groups,
And made something all my own.
I'm sorry for being me.
The MaidenOh, sweet Daughter of Nature
Thrown down, down, down into the depths of the Underworld
Taken by force, so tempting of pure radiance
Residing on a throne of bleeding bones
Queen of screaming souls, innocence corrupted by shadows
Corralled in the tormenting land of freezing hellfire
Defiled by the Lord of the Dead
Tricked by cruel fate to taste the forbidden fruit
To remain forever a prisoner until wrapped in a mother's loving embrace
Weep not, Fair Maiden, for deliverance is at hand
By the kiss of a saccharine summer breeze
I Love the RainYesterday, the sky grew dark for hours
I looked up and I knew the rain would fall
Then I heard the soft sound of raindrops
The clouds had heard Nature's call
It would delight me to see people running
I saw that scene once before
They wander about like nothing will happen
Then the rain pours
And they rush indoors
I wear my mack in the showers
I look at the sky when I go outside
I expect changes in the weather
And I am not so surprised
I welcome the rain after dry days
When the sun beats down and the air is hot
I sit in my cafe in the pouring rain
Watching all the others run to and fro
From the rain I learned to enjoy
I love the rain
VoidThere's a word for what I'm feeling
I could be poetic
I could be romantic
I could be dramatic
But I won't
Because this sort of feeling doesn't deserve fancy words
It deserves hard, merciless thoughts
Feelings, opinions, emotions that would make you scream
I look around and I see blurs and blurs
Colors swirling about
I hear noises that eventually dim to a low background hum
Everything is unfocused
The exit sign
I stare at it
I feel nothing
I just look at it
While everything around me breathes with life
Bolder and bolder it taunts me
Escape it says, escape
But I can't bring myself to move my feet
I can't bring myself to run away
I'm not ready to face the world
I'm not strong enough to leave it
There's a word for what I'm feeling
I hold out my handsI hold out my hands, I look at them, I follow every line, and I remember
I remember when I was younger, those lines where not there, these lines, these very hands, every line, every scar, every blood vein these are my hands.
I hold them out to the sky, I dip them in water, I feel the pressure as I lift up my pencil, and I feel the movement as I drag it across the paper.
I take hold of something, I carry it, and put it down, I feel the weight resting on my fingers, and I feel the joints tighten together.
I dip my hands in snow, I try to feel real freedom.
But these hands my hands, where given to me not to pursue freedom, I use these hands for labor, I use these hands to feed myself.
These hands are strong hands, I have known them all my life, and these hands are stained with dirt, metal, sweat, tears and blood.
These hands have known combat, they have felt another persons muscles curl together under the weight of its punch.
These hands have known injuries, it hav
ConfessionsOutside the storm pounds on the rooftop.
Sound most find no comfort in calms me.
I lay in bed listening to the thunder and the rain.
My mind drifts to dreams, imagining.
Confessions to you of things never said, only thought.
Can I give away that part of myself?
I close my eyes and fantasize of you.
My body comes alive beneath its satin slip.
I want to show you what I feel for you.
Each time you are near my heart races.
Thoughts of your caress, your kiss.
Wanting to hold you, touch you, listen to your secrets.
Will it be tonight we share ourselves and bare our souls?
Is this not meant to be more than passing fancy?
Time will tell.
Genghis Whenever we were bad my mother used to take us to the mall to see Genghis Kahn. They kept him in a dusty diorama of a Mongolian steppe, all tall grass and yurts. He sat on a throne of bone (well, plastic shaped like bone), scowling in incomprehension at the American kids who flocked around him like startled lemmings. My mother would usually push us toward him, saying things like “Tell him what you did to your father’s stamp collection.” Genghis would give a grunt, spit a wad of phlegm onto the tall grass, and give us a wizened, wrinkled grimace, as if he had to go to the bathroom.
He terrified me.
My brother couldn’t get enough of him.
When my brother got caught in my mother’s evening dress, my mother grabbed us both and dragged us to Genghis. It was a slow day, and we were the only kids crowding him. “Tell him what you did,” my mother hissed a
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More